Some people have told me my post/rebuttal of my friend's comments in a previous post was harsh, and only serving to highlight a conflict. I have been asked to remove the comment. (edit: and strangely, by people not the author of the comment)
I feel strongly about not moderating that post. I honestly don't have terrifically thought out reasons, aside to say that while it's handy to have a delete button for blogs/comments on the internet, there's no such thing in real life. The damage was done. Mistakes happen, and it's important to remember and learn from mistakes. Depending on your point of view you might not think it's all that bad.
Ultimately, (and thanks to Carmen for helping me realise this sentiment), I'm not about to mess with free speech.
The only benefit from deleting the comment now is to protect my friend from being viewed as an ass.
This, however, is how I will protect him. This is free speech.
We spoke about the incident. I know he only did it out of frustration for my predicament and as a reflex action to protect me. Part of me actually wants to leave the comment there because it stands as a reminder that I have people in my corner. I love him for that. I also love him for the fact that he was big enough to apologize to the girl in question, without me asking him to.
He is a good guy. One of the best. If anyone - ANYONE - tries to take him down I will tear strips off you.
Period.
***
Feel free to comment on this round of commenting on commenting. That's what it's here for. Intelligent discussion.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Hm... I have read the aforementioned comment and apart from Sid's comment about said girl not being beautiful or intelligent which I thought was a mean thing to say, I can't say I have any idea what the rest of it was about.
Given Sid has apologised to girl about mean comment, probably no one, including you Dave, needs to worry about the rest of the content of that comment, unless you are closer to the parties involved.
As a third party participant, I have no clue what's going on. :)
But in response to Sid's comment about women being nuts, I suppose that depends on which side of the fence you sit on. You may think us women too complicated, what we women don't get is how you can be so simple! LOL.
Life is already too complicated.
Well, having been out of the country and missing all this hoo-ha, I must say that you've got guts dude. To lay it out on the internet where ayone can see is something I struggle to do, so usually I end up writing vague analogies about my personal life.
too bad there's no kudos feature like on myspace, otherwise I'd give you 2 thumbs up.
Hi Dave,
Don't feel ignored but this is to the person who left the following comment (from a few posts back): "Anyone out there looking for a partner and not wanting marriage, why are you wasting your time?"....
My initial response was, "what century do you live in?!"
Looking at it more calmly, it is clear that your life experience and (probably) faith make you want marriage. Most people in Aussie society (including me) also want that for themselves - but it's naive to suggest that's the only way to enjoy your time on this earth. Not to mention dismissive of all the many people who really do just want a partner and not a marriage.
Back to Dave, buddy there are bucketloads of people behind you back in Sydney. Don't forget that, and good luck getting what you want this year in love and beyond.
later, alligator
Oi my message got deleted. I thought free speech was a given in this forum.
Hello anonymous one =)
re: Marriage discussion, here are my responses:
1. I happen to be married already and am not in the market for a second one :)
2. When I was single, I enjoyed my singlehood. So yes I agree with you that marriage is not the only way to enjoy your time on earth. In fact my time on earth as a single was very much enjoyable and sometimes I vaguely miss it, mainly because I was allowed to be a whole lot more selfish than now. LOL. But married life is wonderful too.
3. Now that I am in a relationship with another person, I understand that this relationship requires a huge investment of time, emotions, physical being, finances and more. So whilst I appreciate that some people may be after a partner and not a marriage, I personally do not agree with that life philosophy. The reason I call it a "waste of time" (and actually it's a waste of many other things too - see above) is why would you invest so much of yourself in a relationship that you don't plan to keep for a lifetime? (I make this statement based on the my definitions, being that "marriage" refers to a lifelong commitment whereas "partner" refers to a temporary one, whether that be a temporary short term or temporary long term commitment)
Wow - this must be the longest comment I've ever written, and it's not even about Dave's post! Sorry Dave!
Fii, thanks for replying, I found that post very interesting. And explanatory. Yay for intelligent discussion, as Dave proposed.
I think part of what has happened is a difference in definitions (partnership/marriage etc)- but also I do actually disagree with you about a couple of points. Mainly because I feel you should be investing in everything fully even if you don't think it will last a lifetime, because you don't know how long life will be - i.e. enjoy what you have now, if that makes sense. I suppose what that boils down to is that I seem to be more cynical than you are. I don't believe that partnerships OR marriages will necessarily last a lifetime, and I believe that you can have more than one loving fulfilling relationship in a lifetime. That's not to say that I believe in divorce, just that life doesn't always turn out as planned. And sometimes you need certain things at different points in your life - so a relationship that is right for you when you are twenty might not be right when you are twenty-eight, and you therefore might not plan to be with that person forever, but that doesn't mean you still can't enjoy each other and learn from each other during the time you have together (so long as you both have clear expectations from the relationship). I guess I don't approach relationships thinking that they will last forever - but I still approach them with trust, hope, and giving fully of myself - just like you did with your husband.
Anyway, I think that this is an interesting little blog within a blog that we have going here, so if you have more to say I'd like to hear it. I'm not entirely sure that I've explained my thoughts well enough, but obviously we differ on a few fundamental beliefs about relationships and we probably won't resolve that.
If anyone else feels like weighing in, feel free...
still anonymous :-)
Hi Anonymous,
LOL, maybe Dave should created a new post entitled "blog within a blog" for us to keep commenting back and forth on. :)
Yes, it definitely sounds like we do differ on some fundamental beliefs, on that point I agree with you.
As for your comment about yourself being cynical, that all depends - I never said making a relationship last a lifetime was easy. In fact it is far more difficult to make a relationship last a lifetime than it is to call it quits when you can't seem to resolve an issue.
My original comment on "wasting time" was more of a reference to people who are looking for a relationship for the sake of filling a hole in their lives. I think if you are not a complete person on your own before getting into a relationship (and by complete I don't mean perfect, I mean you are not looking for another person to fill all the empty parts of your own life) then finding a person to complete you will only fall short in due time. People need to look for people to complement them, rather than complete them.
As for needing different things at different points in life, I guess the question to ask about that is - when in a relationship are you looking to have your own needs met or are you looking to lovingly serve and put the other person before yourself? I think if both people have the second attitude more of the time than the first, the relationship is more set to last a lifetime.
One thing I know for sure - I appreciate my parents so much for learning to put their differences aside (or work together despite their differences) to the extent that as one of their children I don't have to feel insecure about the future on my parents' relationship. The family unit, and more importantly the unity within each family unit, is so important in building a healthy society in general, and that unity begins with unity between father & mother (or more importantly husband & wife).
So I've now gone ahead and opened the can or worms even farther. But assuming you are one of Dave's friends and not a completely random blog reader, I figured you must be a decent person and am glad to have this commenting conversation with you. :)
Ah yes... the saga continues... this 'comment' is probably longer than Dave's original post! LOL
Post a Comment