Matlock'd

People exert and display their power in different ways. My consultant has several tricks up his sleeve to let people know that He is the Boss.

He is, firstly, an imposing figure - by towering over most medical staff at at least 6'3" he can simulatenously give you an inferiority complex and create a vertical illusion that diminishes his middle-aged pot-belly. His voice is deep, controlled and also distinctly Australian. He is, I'm told, a incredible surgeon with tens of thousands of operations under his belt.

He is also a wily fox.

Yesterday he asked myself and my registrar to look up the results of a patient's test for him. The results weren't back, so we said we'd chase them up. Today he asked me, "Did you see the results yet?"

I said, "No, I haven't had a chance, I'll look it up as soon as possible sir." (I had actually forgotten).

I managed to check the results and hours later when I was passing him in the hall I decided to try to prove that I was a hard-working intern. "Sir, those results..."

"I already know. I already saw them. I just wanted to see if you had."

A few weeks ago my colleague attended his theatre list as our registrar suggested it would make this consultant happy. The registrar helpfully briefed my colleague on the sorts of questions to expect from this operation - it was an excision of a pleomorphic adenoma, so the anatomy of the facial nerve was the key information. My colleague studiously memorized the branches of the nerve and their relations. When she arrived at the theatre, she was met with,

"Which number cranial nerve is the facial nerve?"

She knew the right answer, "The seventh."

"....are you sure?"

(For the non-medics, imagine the previous exchange like so: After you've prepared for a high-level maths exam including imaginary numbers - "What is 2 plus 2?" "Four." "...are you sure?")

It reminds me of an episode of one of those legal shows back in the early 80s - I think it was Matlock. Tha Lock had some poor schmuck on the stand for brutally assaulting some other poor schmuck. Matlock didn't have quite enough evidence for a conviction, so he says,

"What if I told you that your victim has just died in hospital?"

The schmuck on the stand breaks down and confesses, sobbing, to the whole crime.

The victim then turns up, making a grand entrance into the courtroom. The schmuck on the stand, shocked, turns to Matlock and yells, "You lied to me! You said he was dead!"

Tha Lock quips back, "I only said 'What if I told you he was dead?'"

Wily. I'm still not sure what to think of my consultant. He seems to have sent a clear message: "I am two steps ahead of you - because I am one step in front and you one step behind."