So there's this girl...

Let's get all Bridget again.

There's this girl at work who I've been trying to have dinner with for basically the entirety of my surgical rotation. It is now the end of the rotation and the outcome of ten weeks of mildly persistent flirtation is...nothing.

(Sounds a bit like a rash..."oh, it's just a mildly persistent flirtation, it'll probably go away by itself.")

I noticed her fairly early. She is pretty in a simple way - fresh features, nice eyes and a cute smile - more than stunning in a pick-your-jaw-off-the-floor way. She was friendly to get along with, and so I thought she might be someone to get to know better.

Opportunity was kind enough to stop by, and so after she bailed me out with a couple of patients of mine I decided to offer dinner as thanks, as my olive branch. Because I was on the phone (and to look more nonchalant) I scribbled on a piece of paper - "Owe you for your help --> dinner?" and passed it to her, just like in primary school. She laughed and replied, "Well, I think dinner's not quite enough to make up for it..." (settle down, it doesn't get exciting) "...I think *two* desserts might also have be thrown in."

Okay. We're thinking, in the moment, that we're Neil Armstrong on the moon, and made that first step for mankind. However, remember what I told you in the introduction - we're really much more like poor Michael Collins with his arse up in the orbiting module of Apollo 11 , going round in circles, going nowhere fast, and wondering when the party's going to head his way.

I spent most of that day expecting a cute page to say "Get dinner underway." 48 hours later I'm standing in the carpark hearing,

"Oh, you meant for dinner *then*?"

"Uh...yeah. But, um, don't worry about it, no big deal."

"Oh, sorry! Maybe next time?"

"Well, sure, but you know, this offer is for a limited time only..."

"Oh really? "

"Yeah, it doesn't have extended expiry." (Lame Group and Hold reference)

(You've got to try and bounce back with some witty crap. I bounce like a waterbomb)

Over the next few weeks we have several similar conversations in between making small talk on the ward. I throw around phrases like "this dinner is getting cold" and "this dinner is getting so old it's decomposing."

(I know, some of you reading this are probably thinking, "Dave, there seems to be a fairly logical reason why she doesn't want to have dinner - your lame-ass metaphors are about as funny as [insert funny metaphor here as I clearly don't have the knack for it] " I swear to you though, she laughed at the time).

Only one time had she tried to make a plan with me, which I had to unavoidably bail on due to an unexpected friend turning up with a mini-emergency. I ended up calling the girl back after I had finished with my friend (and this was not at an unreasonable hour) but she was by then busy.

Anyway, let's pretend we're in ICU. I've decided to pull the plug on this one. Apollo 11's running out of gas and I'm happy to let in burn up in re-entry. Slap a big NFR/DNR order on it. I've got nails, a coffin and I'm looking for a hammer. Flatline. I've got one more week at work and I don't want to care about this one anymore.

I won't get into the reasons why she had to bail so often, as that's probably a little more specific than it needs to be, but they were fair reasons. However, I think my friend Marcus summed it up best when he told me - the fact that this girl made no real attempt to reschedule any dinners was a fair sign it wasn't going to have good outcomes.

It's a funny dating scene these days where the etiquette is fairly up in the air. Is it proper for a girl to make the first move? Where's the gender equality? Why does a guy have to do all the legwork? Where's the pride-saving response to "Oh, I thought we were just friends"?

"Oh, the reason why I asked you dinner fourteen times is just that I have this incredible recipe for quiche and the chickens I keep in my backyard just happen to produce a hell of a lotta eggs."

I *don't* think so.

Let's not get confused though - we're nowhere near the frenzied intensity of "my only love sprung from my only hate!" or somesuch. All I want is a quiet half hour to maybe find out who this girl is, what her hopes and dreams are, and maybe get a sense of whether we're heading in the same direction.

Is that too much to ask?