Thinking about God lately.
As the stories roll in, and continue to roll in, from my intern colleagues about how swamped they are and how tired they are, I keep wondering when the wheels are going to fall off my wagon and when I'm going to be hit by "the REAL intern experience."
This is the third term out of five and somehow I've managed to dodge dipshit registrars, tyrannical consultants and even heavy patient loads. I've also managed to hide the fact that I probably know a lot less than my 6th year Medical Student.
Meanwhile my colleagues here in rural Victoria are struggling - one with doing essentially a registrar's job because her reg is a lazy know-nothing and the other is going so bonkers with her patient load that she thought it was a good idea to tie my shoes to the light fittings for fun and then drop chip fragments into my hair.
I have other friends and colleagues dealing with moderate depression and personal tragedy.
In some cases, such as with my colleagues here, I can give them a hand and offer my time after my shift and my severely limited expertise, but what I really want is to give them, and the rest of you, bits of this Four-Leaved Clover that I somehow stumbled upon. I know it sounds f**king hokey, but it's true. I'm probably just a little bit of a Communist Lesbian at heart.
You can have my luck - I think I've had more than my fair share, and besides, a little adversity builds character, right?
I don't pray, because I'm not a religious person (even though I've met yet ANOTHER gorgeous, lovely and single Christian girl just recently and it's driving me BONKERS), but I'm thinking about you guys, all of you. (That is, everytime except when I'm concentrating hard on not killing patients)
And so, I've been thinking about God. Not necessarily the Christian God, or the Catholic God or even Buddha, but just "a" God. I'm wondering whether he/she gave this blessing/lesson for any particular reason, or if it's just a random scatter of the fairy dust.
I guess it really doesn't matter what he/she planned, but what I do with this.
So if you suddenly discover money, food, or hot supermodels raining down on your doorsteps, you'll know I've figured out a useful way to send my luck your way.
Until then, thinking will have to do.
***
Addendum:
If God places anymore gorgeous and likeable single Christian women in my path I will be convinced that he is in fact, a she, because only a woman would tease like that.
***
Addendum II:
GO SOCCEROOS! Retarded British refereeing and rough-housing Croatians couldn't keep us down!
***
That is all.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Away
Started a rotation in Emergency in a country town two weeks ago. It's not the smallest country town by any means, but it's small enough that myself and the other interns have been starved of entertainment. It got so bad that the other night four interns, four MBBS-qualified and usually intelligent people were gathered around a small grate searching for a two-dollar coin using only the light from a mobile phone and we were finding it ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL.
***
Had some friends down from Sydney visit last weekend and among the various things we talked about over dinner was a hope that newspapers could cater to the busy medical intern and print little sidebars that help keep you up to date on any long running news item. It would be like a little "In case you missed" column, or like how your favourite TV show often has a recap at the start of the episode - like "Recently on Grey's Anatomy/Scrubs/the Conflict in the West Bank."
Basically, there are times I really want to get stuck into a particular world issue but simply need the salient facts and can't physically sift through the endless backstory. Medical people like dot points. I think I understand now the glazed look in the medical registrar's eyes when I present a patient to him - the look that means, "Just the facts man!"
This concept would easily be incorporated online. I don't think the major papers have "Related articles" links on their online publications.
***
CARS; Pixar Studios - 2.5/5
The first major misstep from an otherwise untouchable studio. An unfortunately rote storyline and uninspired character designs fail to meet Pixar's incredible technical prowess with CGI.
***
***
Had some friends down from Sydney visit last weekend and among the various things we talked about over dinner was a hope that newspapers could cater to the busy medical intern and print little sidebars that help keep you up to date on any long running news item. It would be like a little "In case you missed" column, or like how your favourite TV show often has a recap at the start of the episode - like "Recently on Grey's Anatomy/Scrubs/the Conflict in the West Bank."
Basically, there are times I really want to get stuck into a particular world issue but simply need the salient facts and can't physically sift through the endless backstory. Medical people like dot points. I think I understand now the glazed look in the medical registrar's eyes when I present a patient to him - the look that means, "Just the facts man!"
This concept would easily be incorporated online. I don't think the major papers have "Related articles" links on their online publications.
***
CARS; Pixar Studios - 2.5/5
The first major misstep from an otherwise untouchable studio. An unfortunately rote storyline and uninspired character designs fail to meet Pixar's incredible technical prowess with CGI.
***
Thursday, June 08, 2006
What's the male form of Bridget?
Somehow I had not one but *two* dates this week with not two but *three* women (I'll do the math for you in a bit). I don't know if you can tell, but I'm not as tickled as someone with my lame dating situation ought to be about the situation.
Frustrated with getting nowhere with She Who Would Deny Me and being the last week of the current rotation I decided some kamikaze-style dating effort wasn't entirely uncalled for - should I crash and burn at the hands of some lovely lady my ashes would soon be transported to rural Victoria anyway.
Kamikaze indeed - you might think I would try to give myself a good chance for the next one.
As they say in the NBA, you go hard or you go home.
I thought I would ask this other lovely health professional to coffee - a girl who I hadn't in fact laid eyes on in the last five weeks, and had perhaps only three verbal exchanges with in my entire medical career. Not only that, she worked on a ward that I had no medical reason to visit.
I strapped the bombs to my plane and took off in the direction of ward 15North.
As I approached her airspace she smiled at me but continued to talk to the health professional she was working with at the time. Needing to look busy I grabbed a portable phone and promptly paged my registrar.
She hovered by, files in hand, and said with a smile,
"Hi Dave..."
(She knows your name? Is this a sign?)
She continued,"...um, what are you doing here?"
(ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! DETONATE! DETONATE!)
I suddenly remembered the phone in my hand, and thinking it could be a good diversion, used the Force to make it ring. Or maybe, my reg just rang back at the right time.
"Oh sorry - I have to take this call, I'll talk to you later?"
Phew. I had a few hours to regroup, and paged her, mustering as much nonchalance into a text message as anyone ever could. She called me back,
"I'd love to have coffee, but I'm really busy today - what about something after work?"
This was problematic. I had already arranged with my high school mates to have dinner, but here I had an attractive, intelligent young lady on the phone happy to meet me. In my group of friends we've tried to foster a culture where we don't just ditch our friends for some dame, but surely - what else could I do - this cute woman was waiting on an answer from me. What else could I do?
I panicked. "Sorry, I have to have dinner with my mates tonight."
When I told this to my good friend Marcus later that night his face wore the sort of look that you have when you see a real ugly dude with a hot chick and you can't believe what's you just saw (or heard) - so, he probably would have had the same look on his face had I got the date anyway. He said,
"Dave, I'm about this close - " He measured out a the size of a bee's penis -"to slapping you up, you newbie! You're supposed to be out with this chick!"
I promised him that I would get her number the next day. And I did. And we had dinner and dessert. And I heard the words that no secular man wants to hear.
"I'd like my partner to be Christian."
Ah...drat.
Now let's not get all fired up about religion, because that's not the point of this particular story. It would have been similar, if somewhat weird, if she said, "I'd like my partner to have two heads." I'm not here to get on any religious soapbox - the only bad Christians are the Christians that think George Bush is a good Christian. The fact that this girl is Christian changes nothing about how attractive or intelligent she is, which is what makes this situation such a shame. But it's just the way it is sometimes - people are entitled to want what they want, and when it comes to faith and important values like this, I've learnt (sometimes the hard way) that you can't change someone just for what you want. That, and it would be slightly dodgy if I converted to Christianity just to chase some tail.
At the very least, I now know another lovely young lady, hardly the worst thing in the world.
***
The other date wasn't quite as enjoyable, and in fact made me feel somewhat like a piece of meat. A girl I know at work offered to set me up with her sister. Setups, as much fun as they are, are tricky things. They take some care, and whomever is doing the setting up has to be an invisible puppet master, so that the two people don't see the strings leading them to each other. Or, at the very most, only one person can be privy to the plan. Another nice pre-requisite is that the two people who are to meet should have some decent common ground.
Not, for example, as in this particular case for me, that the young lady was "young and pretty and tall" and that I was "a good doctor".
Can you guess the race of the people trying to set me up? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.
I was fairly reluctant initially, but my friend insisted, and I gave in. I agreed, with one caveat only - that my friend come with her sister to lunch, as a buffer. Who am I to turn down meeting a pretty, young, tall girl? No, really?
It was, however, all wrong. The sister was indeed pretty, young and tall. But she looked uncomfortable to be there, and I felt bad for her, not knowing how much she had been pushed into this meeting, and wondering what she thought of me - this random single loser swinging his MBBS around like it was supposed to be some sort of currency.
After a couple of hours at lunch, a couple of uncomfortable silences and long sips at my coffee I was really no closer to knowing who this person was that had been somewhat presented to me, and I felt sad. I think I had given it a decent shot, but it probably was a shot that should never have been lined up in the first place.
Dave: 0; Axis of women: 6
Frustrated with getting nowhere with She Who Would Deny Me and being the last week of the current rotation I decided some kamikaze-style dating effort wasn't entirely uncalled for - should I crash and burn at the hands of some lovely lady my ashes would soon be transported to rural Victoria anyway.
Kamikaze indeed - you might think I would try to give myself a good chance for the next one.
As they say in the NBA, you go hard or you go home.
I thought I would ask this other lovely health professional to coffee - a girl who I hadn't in fact laid eyes on in the last five weeks, and had perhaps only three verbal exchanges with in my entire medical career. Not only that, she worked on a ward that I had no medical reason to visit.
I strapped the bombs to my plane and took off in the direction of ward 15North.
As I approached her airspace she smiled at me but continued to talk to the health professional she was working with at the time. Needing to look busy I grabbed a portable phone and promptly paged my registrar.
She hovered by, files in hand, and said with a smile,
"Hi Dave..."
(She knows your name? Is this a sign?)
She continued,"...um, what are you doing here?"
(ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! DETONATE! DETONATE!)
I suddenly remembered the phone in my hand, and thinking it could be a good diversion, used the Force to make it ring. Or maybe, my reg just rang back at the right time.
"Oh sorry - I have to take this call, I'll talk to you later?"
Phew. I had a few hours to regroup, and paged her, mustering as much nonchalance into a text message as anyone ever could. She called me back,
"I'd love to have coffee, but I'm really busy today - what about something after work?"
This was problematic. I had already arranged with my high school mates to have dinner, but here I had an attractive, intelligent young lady on the phone happy to meet me. In my group of friends we've tried to foster a culture where we don't just ditch our friends for some dame, but surely - what else could I do - this cute woman was waiting on an answer from me. What else could I do?
I panicked. "Sorry, I have to have dinner with my mates tonight."
When I told this to my good friend Marcus later that night his face wore the sort of look that you have when you see a real ugly dude with a hot chick and you can't believe what's you just saw (or heard) - so, he probably would have had the same look on his face had I got the date anyway. He said,
"Dave, I'm about this close - " He measured out a the size of a bee's penis -"to slapping you up, you newbie! You're supposed to be out with this chick!"
I promised him that I would get her number the next day. And I did. And we had dinner and dessert. And I heard the words that no secular man wants to hear.
"I'd like my partner to be Christian."
Ah...drat.
Now let's not get all fired up about religion, because that's not the point of this particular story. It would have been similar, if somewhat weird, if she said, "I'd like my partner to have two heads." I'm not here to get on any religious soapbox - the only bad Christians are the Christians that think George Bush is a good Christian. The fact that this girl is Christian changes nothing about how attractive or intelligent she is, which is what makes this situation such a shame. But it's just the way it is sometimes - people are entitled to want what they want, and when it comes to faith and important values like this, I've learnt (sometimes the hard way) that you can't change someone just for what you want. That, and it would be slightly dodgy if I converted to Christianity just to chase some tail.
At the very least, I now know another lovely young lady, hardly the worst thing in the world.
***
The other date wasn't quite as enjoyable, and in fact made me feel somewhat like a piece of meat. A girl I know at work offered to set me up with her sister. Setups, as much fun as they are, are tricky things. They take some care, and whomever is doing the setting up has to be an invisible puppet master, so that the two people don't see the strings leading them to each other. Or, at the very most, only one person can be privy to the plan. Another nice pre-requisite is that the two people who are to meet should have some decent common ground.
Not, for example, as in this particular case for me, that the young lady was "young and pretty and tall" and that I was "a good doctor".
Can you guess the race of the people trying to set me up? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.
I was fairly reluctant initially, but my friend insisted, and I gave in. I agreed, with one caveat only - that my friend come with her sister to lunch, as a buffer. Who am I to turn down meeting a pretty, young, tall girl? No, really?
It was, however, all wrong. The sister was indeed pretty, young and tall. But she looked uncomfortable to be there, and I felt bad for her, not knowing how much she had been pushed into this meeting, and wondering what she thought of me - this random single loser swinging his MBBS around like it was supposed to be some sort of currency.
After a couple of hours at lunch, a couple of uncomfortable silences and long sips at my coffee I was really no closer to knowing who this person was that had been somewhat presented to me, and I felt sad. I think I had given it a decent shot, but it probably was a shot that should never have been lined up in the first place.
Dave: 0; Axis of women: 6
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